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August 05, 2006
Reinventing Rob - July 06 In Review
I'm having a hard time summing up July. I'd say it was mostly a month of me trying to calm the fuck down, and mostly being unsuccessful at doing so.
It's the heart thing, folks. I've got a lot of things that I still need and want to accomplish with my life, and the fact that I need to pace myself in accomplishing those things is a new experience for me. I'd always felt that I'd never before really reached my limit, really I felt I didn't have limits, and having to face the reality of the matter was something I hadn't ever encountered before.
I keep flashing back to myself, on that Sunday, June Eleventh, busting my ass at the day job, having gone fourteen days of working straight without any breaks, and pulling ten to twelve hour days, having my heart all of a sudden freaking out on me, making me feel like there's a subwoofer playing rave music inside my chest, and my only thought?
"Fuck, not here. Anywhere but here."
Don't get me wrong, I actually really like my day job. I am, literally, the best in the country at what I do, no bullshit, and I take a lot of pride in that. I've got two departments worth of people working for me that I'm equally proud of, they're just a great group of people. My bosses are the most receptive, responsive, and all-around-great I've ever had. But I just don't want to die there. Not me.
So, in July, we hired on several new people, put in a layer of management below me to handle a lot of my burden, and have put in several new procedures and technologies that are improving things drastically. So, the dayjob? Ain't no thing no more.
I'm off my medicine now, too, to no real averse reactions, other than the meds made me put on about five pounds, which I'm now working back off.
But, over the last couple of years, I've just been go, go, go, get it done, do it now, move on to the next thing, get it done, go, go, go. And I just physically can't do that anymore, which is frankly a little terrifying more than it is humbling. I hate admitting that I'm just a man, damn it.
But I ain't done yet, and I'm not done fighting to accomplish all of the things that I've set out to do in my lifetime. I'm no quitter.
Oh yeah, yesterday was my new Dayjob Gallery opening, which went off magnificently. The painting in the post below seemed to be everyone's favorite, which is good, since it's my most ambitious yet. I had several people offer to buy it, we'll see if anything comes of that. Also, I had up that black and white series I've been posting up, and one person gave me the highest compliment I've received to date:
"These remind me of those old comics made by the people who did Tales From the Crypt. You know what I'm talking about?"
Yeah. Yeah, I fucking know what you're talking about. They're only my absolute favorite comics ever, done by a collection of all of my biggest influences. Yeah, I know all about EC Comics.
Posted by Schamberger at August 5, 2006 11:25 AM